Peanuts and pavlovas (strawberry, for preference)

Current mood: Peckish
Current music: Oliver Talkes - as yet unsigned singer/songwriter of beautiful, acoustic folk songs

Yes, yes, all right, so it's been nearly a month since my last entry. Well, I've been busy - I finished my old job in a lab and have just started my new one, which involves absolutely no chemical fumes nastier than those from Tippex, or perhaps ozone from the photocopier. Instead of worrying about what all those organic solvents might do to my health, as an Office Girl I can now look forward to a whole new range of occupational hazards, such as repetitive strain injury, carpal tunnel syndrome, and deep vein thrombosis. Hurray!

Actually the people at work are really nice, and the work does involve some use of my brain, so I shan't complain.

It's often been said that fish is 'brain food', said to contain brain-enhancing 'omega-3 fatty acids', such a term being tossed about casually by the average Health Freak without he/she necessarily knowing what an omega-3 fatty acid actually is. However, have you ever considered whether over-consumption of other foods may induce insanity? Would a banana-eater go bananas, or a nut-muncher go nuts? (If that were true, all squirrels would be crazy.) (Aren't they?) Now there's food for thought.

Be that as it may, your humble correspondent (who rather likes both bananas and nuts, but prefers chocolate) was inspired the other day by a jar of peanut butter. The following lyrics should be sung to the tune of the famous 'Hallelujah' chorus, from Handel's 'Messiah'. I've done my best to follow the structure of the piece accurately, although Handel went a bit wild with the polyphonic lines...

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THE PEANUT BUTTER CHORUS

Peanut butter!
Peanut butter!
Peanut butter, peanut butter
How tasty it is!

Peanut butter!
Peanut butter!
Peanut butter, peanut butter
How tasty it is!

How does it spread on bread, oh so smoothly?
(Peanut butter! Peanut butter! Peanut butter! Peanut butter!)
How does it spread on bread, oh so smoothly?
(Peanut butter! Peanut butter! Peanut butter! Peanut butter!)...

The butter in this jar
Smooth and brown
The butter in this jar is made of nuts, is made of nuts
Which I shall savour now and forever...
(And I shall spread... Forever and ever...)

Spread of spreads
(I'll savour forever, peanut butter, peanut butter!)
And food of foods
(I'll savour forever, peanut butter, peanut butter!)...

Image taken from http://www.taltif.com/resources/peanut-butter-1.jpg

Which I shall savour now and forever...

(And I shall spread... Forever and ever...)

Spread of spreads

(I'll savour forever)
And food of foods
(Peanut butter, peanut butter!)
And I shall taste its flavour, forever and ever
(And I shall taste its flavour forever)

Spread of spreads
And food of foods
Spread of spreads
And food of foods
Which I shall savour now and forever

Spread of spreads
(I'll savour forever)
And food of foods
(I'll savour forever)
Peanut butter! Peanut butter! Peanut butter! Peanut butter!
PEA-NUT BUT-TER!

© Aureala 2006

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Hmm, that got a bit repetitive at the end there. Don't blame me; Handel just kept on using the same words over and over again. I'm sure the song will work better if you can actually persuade a (nutty) choir to sing it.

Below is another song whose lyrics I re-wrote, sometime last summer. It's sung to the tune of the 1960s song, 'Downtown', which was written by Tony Hatch, and performed by Petula Clark. The original ditty is about how you should go downtown whenever you're feeling sad and alone, and all the lights and noise and action there is bound to cheer you up - right up to the point where you get mugged, that is. My version, on the other hand, is all about staying in. Well, that's how sensible people should behave when faced with a tropical monsoon that's chucking it down outside...

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INSIDE

When you are sane and it is pouring with rain
You would always go - inside
When it is squally and you ain't got a brolly
I suggest you go - inside
Just listen to the music of the patter of the raindrops
Drinking up a cuppa tea until you hear the rain stop
How can you lose?

The lightning's so bright out there
But you can watch from the window, you don't have to care
So go inside, things'll be great when you're
Inside - no finer place, for sure
Inside - everything's waiting for you

Don't you give in when you are soaked to the skin
Because it's snug and warm - inside
Maybe you know some handy places to go
Where you can dry your clothes - inside
Just savour all the flavour of a strawberry pavlova
Seeing as you'll have to wait until the storm is over
Have a meringue

Image taken from http://www.eggs.ab.ca/recipes/desserts/strawberry_pavlova.html

The lightning's so bright out there
But you can watch from the window, you don't have to care
So go inside, where you can grab a bite
Inside - waiting for you tonight
Inside - you're gonna be all right now

And you may find somebody kind to help you light a fire
Sitting in a cosy room is all that you require
When you are cold

So maybe I'll see you there
We'll watch the storm from the window, we don't have to care
So go inside, things'll be great when you're
Inside - don't wait a minute more
Inside - everything's waiting for you

Inside... Inside... Inside... Inside...

© Aureala 2005

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I'm particularly pleased with the bit about the strawberry pavlova and 'Have a meringue'. If you check out the lyrics of the original you'll see how cunningly it fits in - 'as cunning as a fox what used to be Professor of Cunning at Oxford University but has moved on and is now working for the U.N. at the High Commission of International Cunning Planning', in fact, to quote Baldrick from 'Blackadder'.

Moving swiftly on. Standing on the crowded bus yesterday, I spent a large part of my journey examining the design on an orange bag belonging to a lady reading the paper. Well, I didn't have much choice - it wasn't like I could turn around and look at something else. So there I was, gazing at rows of cute, cheerful, cartoony dogs, and underneath each dog was a little label denoting what breed it is. Turkish Van... Himalayan... Egyptian Mau... Persian... Siamese...

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE. These are all cat names! How can you label dogs with the names of different breeds of cat? That's just wrong! The intrinsic wrongness of it irked me all the way to work. Maybe I'm the only one who notices these things. The designer sure didn't give a toss about checking the facts.

On the train today I spotted a rather odd slogan on the back of someone's orange t-shirt (orange seems to be the colour of the moment). The front of the t-shirt was quite unmemorable - it just featured a large white number, which many sporty t-shirts seem to have - but on the back, in big white capital letters, was the admonition:

DON'T GO CRAZY FOR A SHARP DRESSED BUNNY BOY

Eh? Come again?

I'm not sure if the wearer qualified as 'sharp dressed', since jeans and a t-shirt seem fairly casual to me, and the boy in question just looked like some regular young punk with spiky hair, one earring, a slouch, and an anti-social demeanour. Don't worry, boy, I won't be going crazy for you anytime - in this life or the next!

'Bunny boy' is a bit of a mystery, although if it has anything to do with 'bunny girls' then I suspect rabbits won't really be involved. The image of a waiter in a smart black suit and white shirt - adorned with a pair of bunny ears and a fluffy white tail - drifts across the mind, is labelled 'Disturbing' and filed under 'Do not open again under any circumstances'.

Anyway, I've got more stuff to say, but I've also got to rush off and practise singing the Fauré Requiem with lots of other people, so I shall leave further ramblings for the next post. Adios amigos!