A f'w w'rds 'n t' 'Nglsh l'ng'ge

Current mood: Linguist (It was a toss-up between 'linguist' and just plain 'wordy')
Current music: Anggun - a talented and beautiful Indonesian-born singer, who carries out songs in English, French, and Indonesian to perfection but is STILL not a household name

Anyone who knows me (or, in fact, who reads this blog) will probably guess that I'm not overly keen on the increasing laziness in writing. I'm mainly referring to the kind of language you find in text messages and Internet forums or chat rooms, where 'gr8' is 'great', 'cya l8r' is 'see you later', and 'rotfl' is 'rolling on the floor laughing'. Well, these examples aren't too bad, and I admit I occasionally use '2moro' instead of 'tomorrow' when texting, so that I can use the extra three letters for something else. But my point is that it's all downhill from here, and when I have to look up an acronym dictionary just to work out what you're saying, then the whole time-saving aspect crumbles to dust.

If we carry on this scrimping and saving of letters, hacking at the English language and generally torturing it until it gives up and waves a white flag, then someday we may have to read a script that looks like this:

'Nglsh C'nvrsat'n

A: 'Sup?
B: Nutch. Bor' t' deth.
A: W'nna go t' d' park 's arvo?
B: Nn. T' cold 'ut.
A: 'T'nt.
B: 'T's. Neway 's rain'n.
A: H' 'bt Tate Mod?
B: Nn. Mod art's t' werd.
A: Sh'dwe go t'd S'uth Bnk? 'Sa free gig 'n.
B: C'nna b' both'rd.
A: S'ya j's g'nna s't 'ere wotch'n d' t'lly.
B: 'Sright.
A: B't 'er's nut'n on.
B: Wyja th'nk 'm bor' t' deth?

It is in English, really. I didn't make up any words. However, a translation will be provided on request.

The other language issue that causes me to wince is the careless use of punctuation, particularly when the writer isn't really sure of the difference between 'your' and 'you're', and 'its' and 'it's'. Oh, and the film 'Two Weeks Notice' is missing an apostrophe... I suppose I'm getting a tad pedantic, but you'll find that punctuation can be quite handy if you check out the following short letters, which I read in the book, 'Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation', by Lynne Truss:

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Dear Jack,

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy - will you let me be yours?

Jill.

****************************************

Dear Jack,

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men I yearn! For you I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?

Yours, Jill.

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You'll have noticed that although the words of the two letters are exactly the same, their meanings are about as different from each other as they can possibly be! So you can never be too careful...

Anyway, I shall leave you now with a couple of poems. The first is by Lewis Carroll, who did indeed make up his words, though not without good effect. You really have to read 'Jabberwocky' out loud to appreciate the sound of it. After having written about a bunch of Jabberwocks a couple of weeks ago, I thought it only fair that I include it.

The other is a short poem by yours truly, vaguely in the style of Ogden Nash. Enjoy!

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Jabberwocky
(1872)

By Lewis Carroll, from 'Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There'

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought -
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

Picture taken from http://www.jabberwocky.com

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

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Into the Mind of a Poet
(2004)

By Aureala

Reflecting on my work as a poet -
I hint at the truth but rarely show it.
When I say, 'The sun shone like diamonds on the water,'
I meant the water shone like diamonds really oughter.
After all, the only thing that can sparkle like the sun on the sea is sunlight
But if there's a fine chance for a simile to be made, then someone might.
Poets can weave metaphors just as politicians can weave lies,
Or spiders can weave spider-webs to catch tasty flies.
I suppose metaphors and lies really have the same ring,
But I can't be a politician because of my fear-of-making-public-speeches thing,
So I shall settle for being a poet,
And don't I know it.