Discovery of a new element! Ooh, how exciting
Current mood: Googly-eyed (must... stop... surfing... the... Net...)
Current music: No music, but there's a couple of noisy folks with megaphones outside
Recently I spotted a sign on the side of a truck, which said: "Education for International Mindedness". I suppose this is the exciting New School of thought, in contrast with the Old School, which preferred "Education for International Bloody-Mindedness". Presumably, some of the world's political leaders of past and present - for some reason, Hitler springs foremost to mind - must have studied at that Old School, and graduated summa cum laude. Yes, we could certainly do with more considerate and tactful politicians...
Continuing in a political vein, I came across an interesting article in the paper last week. From the sound of it, the guy who wrote the column, Jake van der Kamp, got the story from someone else (a David Coates, it would appear), but it's only fair to mention the name of the last person to pass on the tale...
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Elementum, dear Watson. It’s just Governmentium ad absurdium
Did you know that researchers have just discovered the heaviest chemical element yet known to science? They have named it Governmentium.
Governmentium has no pros to its credit and, therefore obviously, no protons. It also has no electrons and is therefore inert. It consists of one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and any number of assistant deputy neutrons. These particles are held together by forces called morons and are supported in turn by vast quantities of insignificant particles called peons.
Although inert, Governmentium can easily be detected as it impedes everything with which it comes in contact. A minute amount can cause a reaction to take more than a year where it would normally take less than a second.
Governmentium is not radioactive or active in any other way but does have a normal half-life of five years, at the end of which period a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
Rather than lose mass through this process of decay, Governmentium actually gains mass over time as each reorganisation causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion has led scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain level of concentration, which is referred to as Critical Morass.
Governmentium is the research team’s second discovery of an inert element. Its first, Academium, induces those who come in contact with it to tell the rest of us what we already know.
Extract from the column, ‘Monitor’, by Jake van der Kamp. South China Morning Post, Thursday, September 22, 2005.
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Now, boys and girls, do these findings have international significance in the field of 'science' or in 'social science'? Discuss and give a short talk on your conclusions. Extra points for those able to keep a straight face...
Current music: No music, but there's a couple of noisy folks with megaphones outside
Recently I spotted a sign on the side of a truck, which said: "Education for International Mindedness". I suppose this is the exciting New School of thought, in contrast with the Old School, which preferred "Education for International Bloody-Mindedness". Presumably, some of the world's political leaders of past and present - for some reason, Hitler springs foremost to mind - must have studied at that Old School, and graduated summa cum laude. Yes, we could certainly do with more considerate and tactful politicians...
Continuing in a political vein, I came across an interesting article in the paper last week. From the sound of it, the guy who wrote the column, Jake van der Kamp, got the story from someone else (a David Coates, it would appear), but it's only fair to mention the name of the last person to pass on the tale...
********************
Elementum, dear Watson. It’s just Governmentium ad absurdium
Did you know that researchers have just discovered the heaviest chemical element yet known to science? They have named it Governmentium.
Governmentium has no pros to its credit and, therefore obviously, no protons. It also has no electrons and is therefore inert. It consists of one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and any number of assistant deputy neutrons. These particles are held together by forces called morons and are supported in turn by vast quantities of insignificant particles called peons.
Although inert, Governmentium can easily be detected as it impedes everything with which it comes in contact. A minute amount can cause a reaction to take more than a year where it would normally take less than a second.
Governmentium is not radioactive or active in any other way but does have a normal half-life of five years, at the end of which period a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
Rather than lose mass through this process of decay, Governmentium actually gains mass over time as each reorganisation causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion has led scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain level of concentration, which is referred to as Critical Morass.
Governmentium is the research team’s second discovery of an inert element. Its first, Academium, induces those who come in contact with it to tell the rest of us what we already know.
Extract from the column, ‘Monitor’, by Jake van der Kamp. South China Morning Post, Thursday, September 22, 2005.
********************
Now, boys and girls, do these findings have international significance in the field of 'science' or in 'social science'? Discuss and give a short talk on your conclusions. Extra points for those able to keep a straight face...
posted by Aureala @ 7:52 pm
PIPSOH!
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