Happy Birthday, Mozart!

Current mood: Celebratory
Current music: Well, it would have to be Mozart now, wouldn't it?


Today is the 250th anniversary of Mozart's birth! I hope he is having a good time in whichever ethereal plane he currently inhabits. He was born in Salzburg on 27 January, 1756. Hmm, he was a 'Tuesday's child' - which meant that he was full of grace, if you believe the rhyme. Although we usually refer to him as 'Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart', his actual name was 'Joannes Chrisostomos, Wolfgang, Gotlieb'. Quite a mouthful. But it would seem that according to the Roman Catholic calendar, 27 January was the day of St John Chrysostom (the patron saint of orators); 'Wolfgang' was the name of his mother's father; and 'Amadeus' is the Latin for 'beloved of God', or 'Gotlieb' in German.

Anyway, enough about his name. As far as 'classical' music goes, I admit I tend to prefer Romantic and 20th Century composers to Classical ones, which means that my knowledge of Mozart's enormous output is sadly somewhat limited. That said, I have to say that the last bars that Mozart ever wrote - for 'Lachrymosa' in his famous 'Requiem in D Minor' - make up the most moving choral passage I have ever had the good fortune to sing. I'd put it right up there with the 'Requiem' by Gabriel Fauré - and for me, that's saying something!

So, let's have your votes, ladies and gentlemen - which is your favourite Mozart piece? Please enter your opinions through the 'Comments' link...

Do not slay the Jabberwock

Current mood: Jabberish
Current music: The Jabberwocks' performance of '7' is currently on loop in my head

All right, all right, it's yet another rave review from your friendly neighbourhood music critic. Except I'm never very critical because I only bother to talk about music I like... Anyway, my latest craze is a cappella music - music without instrumental accompaniment. 'A cappella' is Italian for 'in the manner of the chapel', and they used to have choirs sing, unaccompanied, in big churches with excellent acoustics. The sounds would mingle and echo and blend together into an enchanting mélange of human voices, filling the church-goers with a sense of the divine... (This is in contrast to performing at a venue such as the Royal Albert Hall in London. Much as I like it, it was designed and built by folks who weren't too sharp on acoustics, with the result that anyone singing there feels as though the big empty space merely sucks out all sound. Believe me, I've tried it. Hence the need for a million mics and those round, mushroom-like installations on the ceiling.)

But despite the profound beauty of, say, Fauré's 'Requiem' (an absolute choral masterpiece - I'd be disappointed if they didn't play the 'Lux aeterna' section at my funeral), religious music is not what I'm about to promote. Let me introduce to you... the Jabberwocks.

Beware the Jabberwocks, my girl! The smiles so bright, the songs so catch-y

As you can see, none of them resemble the dragon-like fictional beast from Lewis Carroll's poem, 'Jabberwocky' (thank goodness for that), despite adopting its name. I met them last week and they're all lovely, talented lads. How did I meet them? Well, your humble narrator has recently joined a local youth choir, a part of the Hong Kong Federation of Youth Groups (aka "The Federation!"). The Federation arranged for the Jabberwocks to come over to Hong Kong for a couple of gigs, and my choir got to share the stage with them at a posh charity dinner, which was fantastic...

The Jabberwocks are an a cappella group hailing from Brown University, USA, with over 50 years of history behind them and presumably plenty more years of history to come. Besides their obvious vocal talent, what struck me the most was the ingenuity that went into their arrangements of songs - from a moving rendition of Franz Biebl's 'Ave Maria' to an upbeat, lively 'I want You Back' by the Jackson 5, complete with dance moves. Yeah, baby! My personal favourites included the sophisticated 'The Way You Look Tonight' (Frank Sinatra), the gospel-style '7' (Prince), a version of 'Tonight, Tonight' (Smashing Pumpkins) which I liked better than the original, and an as-high-as-Chris-Martin-sings-it performance of 'Fix You' (Coldplay). It was, however, the Jabberwocks' interpretation of 'The Gulf War Song' - by an a cappella group I've never previously heard of, called Moxy Fruvous - which inspired me to write my own anti-war song. Thanks guys!

You might be wondering how the 'Wocks managed to pull off all these pop/rock songs without any instruments. Obviously, an all-male choir can provide plenty of bass sounds, as well as loads of smooth harmonies. But what about drums? Aah... Welcome to the wonderful world of beatboxing. Nope, it's not some kind of martial art - it's a way of making percussive sounds with your voice. For example, you can imitate the bass drum or 'kick drum' by making a deep 'B' sound, or the hi-hat cymbals with a hissy 'tsss'. It's very handy, carrying around an entire drum-kit in your vocal cords... Anyway, I'm not about to give you a full tutorial, because I don't know anything beyond what Graham (aka DJ Grambo) from the Jabberwocks taught me. He's an amazing beatboxer who can sing and beatbox at the same time - it's very impressive! If you're dying to know how it's done, check out http://www.humanbeatbox.com for some basic lessons.

In any case, I had a fabulous time hanging out with the Jabberwocks and feel really honoured to have sung with them. Hey guys - you're welcome to visit Hong Kong again, any time! Just be sure to say hi to your new greatest fan when you're here!

Oh, and if my loyal readers doubt my story - take a look at this happy group pic of both choirs. See if you can spot yours truly...

Together we shall take over the world... Mwahahahaha!

Pictures taken from http://www.jabberwocks.com. Go check out the site!

Jumping the language barrier

Current mood: Connecting with the world (except for that part of the world involving telemarketers)
Current music: Peter Cincotti sings Kermit the Frog - 'The Rainbow Connection'

Eureka! I have discovered the most effective way of making unwelcome telemarketing and survey phone calls as short as possible, whilst still maintaining the veneer of politeness. Well, at least the technique seems to work in Hong Kong. Here, the caller inevitably speaks in Cantonese, usually extremely quickly, in order to get as much information across as possible before the irritated callee hangs up. I always feel it's a bit rude to just hang up, but at the same time I'm not exactly keen to take part in some random phone survey when I'm having my dinner. So when the caller asks (in Cantonese) if I've a few minutes to spare for answering some questions, I reply sweetly (in English): "Sorry, but could you please repeat that in English?"

Hehehehehe.

The telephone interviewer who called just now made a valiant effort and said, somewhat hesitantly: "I'm sorry... I don't speak English... Thank you... Goodbye!" Despite the distinctly Hong Kongese accent, he actually impressed me for trying. The woman who called last time simply hung up straight away, much to my amusement. The tables have turned...

It's not often I get my own back in this way. I often find myself being asked by Hong Kong shopkeepers where I've come back from. They can tell just by hearing me speak. Presumably I speak Cantonese with an English twang, or something. In any case I'm lamentably behind in my Chinese and, despite looking like a local, I certainly don't feel like one. I feel more like a fish out of water. Moving out of England and back 'home' gave me a kind of reverse culture shock - I'd gotten so used to conducting my daily life in my main language that the sudden change was very disconcerting. Suddenly I can no longer understand what they're talking about on the news. Suddenly I can't read the menus without feeling slightly uneasy about the words I didn't quite get. Suddenly I have to learn Mandarin... Not to mention how much I miss my friends and my (relatively) carefree lifestyle as a student in London. The strangest thing about being back, and staying with my family again, is the feeling that: It's as if I never went away. As if the past 6 years haven't happened and I'm back in high school again. That's SERIOUSLY freaky.

So, as a stranded fish on an unfamiliar shore, I'm always happy to meet other fish. It's always such a relief not to have to work out what I want to say in Chinese, and just communicate spontaneously. Perhaps that's why I'm especially loquacious on this blog - it's to make up for all the frustrating not-talking I'm doing these days. I'd like to talk, but in Chinese I just don't have all the right words...

Amongst all the contrasts I've noticed between Hong Kong and London is that the latter is much more cosmopolitan than the former. Sure, you do have an expat community living here, and you do get oodles of tourists - but in terms of proportions, most of the people in Hong Kong are ethnically Chinese. In London there is of course a majority of white people, but the ethnic 'minorities' are very significant - there are large Asian, Oriental, and black communities living there, and you can see a mixture of all the globe's races just by taking the train. On the other hand, I get the impression that a lot of Hong Kong people have a very local mindset, which seems a real shame.

So I was pleased to see a poster at a local university, which encouraged students to study overseas for a term or two, and explore other cultures. "Go on Exchange!" urged the headline. Unfortunately, due to issues of font and spacing, what I actually read at first glance was: "Goon Exchange!" Hmm. Personally, if I had a goon to contend with, I'd rather sell him than exchange him for another model. Whichever definition of 'goon' you prefer, I have no use for either oafish louts or hired thugs. I wonder if there's a goon market on eBay? Go on, have a goon...

But I digress. I think it would be great to have a device that does what Douglas Adams' fictional Babelfish does, i.e. instantaneously translate any language into one you can understand. If we can comprehend each other's languages, perhaps we can make some headway into appreciating each others' cultures... The only drawback to this wonderful plan of universal peace and understanding is that my anti-telemarketers trick won't work. Darn, I knew there had to be a catch!

Ventures into the metaphysical

Current mood: Philosophical
Current music: The chanting of monks on a mountainside. No, not really

I just spotted the following statement on a form:

"Any information below this line is invalid"

This statement is then followed by a line. Having a somewhat antagonistic turn of mind, I felt compelled to mentally add to it:

Any information below this line is invalid
__________________________________________
Any information above this line is invalid

Hehehe. You have to take sides - Top or Bottom? Which is right?

Now change the scenario slightly. Take a look at the following:

Any information below this line is untrue
_________________________________________
Any information above this line is true

Ah, it's obvious - Top is true, Bottom is untrue. Right?

Wrong. You might have to think it through a bit but these two statements, apparently in agreement, actually set up a paradox.

No, no, not a pair of ducks! Go away, you two, this ain't your cue. As I was saying... A paradox is a self-contradictory statement or situation, which doesn't make sense when you follow perfectly logical deductions. So if you saw the following sign...


...would you turn right or left? It's the kind of sign you would find particularly unhelpful if you were stuck in a maze, or perhaps a labyrinthine university.

Let's move on from paradoxes to the nature of time and existence. Because once upon a time I wrote upon a banana. (This can be quietly amusing once in a while, although if you do this too often you may well be accused of insanity. Be sure to use a biro as a fountain pen would just make a mess.) And I wrote:

"By the time you read this, this banana will NO LONGER EXIST."

I then proceeded to take a photo of the declarative banana before eating it (the banana, not the photo, you ninny).
I wrote the statement whilst the banana was still in existence, aware that its future existence was likely to be rather brief. But now, in the future, it is the image of the banana that remains, as does the recollection of its predicted fate - long after the banana is gone...

Mmm. Deep.

You may think of the above as an interesting metaphor for why so many people want to be celebrities (fame, fortune and the kind of immortality found in everlasting glory), or just a rather silly exercise involving graffiti-ed tropical fruit. Either way, I got a tasty banana and a story out of it!

All right then, one last thing while I'm still feeling philosophical. Whilst logical, rational thought is great, and humankind wouldn't have gotten further than gathering nuts and berries without it, it does have its limitations. For example, I have made a perfectly logical conclusion from two solid facts:

1. Ducks are yellow.
2. Bananas are yellow.

Therefore: Ducks are bananas.

Uh - are they? That doesn't seem quite right...

What was wrong with my reasoning? I made an incorrect assumption that ducks and bananas are both "equivalent" to yellow, which is obviously nonsense. However, that's just the kind of conclusion a primitive computer might come up with, due to limited facts. It's not possible to account for every single fact so we have to approximate, guess, or just make the darn thing up. I suppose that's what computer modelling is all about.

It's just as well that we're not logical thinking machines that think only in yes/no. Without human creativity and ingenuity we'd still be wondering why ducks don't grow on trees, and eating roast bananas stuffed with banana for our dinner. Oh, yummy.

Anyway, if you liked this blog entry, you might want to consider reading '101 Experiments in the Philosophy of Everyday Life' by Roger-Pol Droit. It's full of strange things you can do to make yourself think, such as telephoning at random or taking the Tube without going anywhere. My personal favourites are 'No. 16: Dream of all the places in the world' and 'No. 50: Become music'. As far as I recall, though, none of the experiments involved scribbling on bananas. Maybe I should send a suggestion to the author...

PS I am happy to announce that all of the pictures/photos adorning this entry are entirely original, i.e. I made them all by myself, and didn't pinch 'em off the Net. Yay! Which means that if, in turn, you decide to borrow one of them, you'd have to ask me first, and quote me as the creator. Although frankly, just why anyone else would want a picture of Ducks = Bananas is quite beyond me...

The Norwegians have it

Current mood: Musical
Current music: Norwegian songs in English... No, hang on, I mean English songs by Norwegians... Oh, you figure it out.

"What is it the Norwegians have?" I hear you cry. "Fjords? Glaciers? Beautiful blond people? Rampant polar bears running wild on the streets? What?"

Well, possibly all of the above. But what I'm referring to is: Good music videos.

Lazy Daisy
Photo by Astralwerks from MTV website
Let me explain. Sometime during the summer of 2004 I saw a music video on MTV called 'Two Way Monologue'. It's for a song by a Norwegian guy called Sondre Lerche, and features a showdown between two performers, battling to be 'Best Entertainer'. Sondre, a fabulous singer-songwriter and guitarist, plays both artists (hence the 'two-way monologues' - clever!). It's a good laugh - I love videos with a little storyline. I enjoyed the video enough to find out more (this being the whole purpose of music videos)... You can see it for yourself, on his website:

http://www.sondrelerche.com/media.asp

While you're there, make sure you also check out the video for 'Days that are Over' - that's very good too. It parodies a whole bunch of famous TV shows, from Big Brother to the Late Show with Daaaaavid Letterman.

Anyway, fast-forward to 2005. While I was still hanging around in London, I went to Sondre's gig with a bunch of friends, and enjoyed it immensely. I don't think any one of us was disappointed, even though there was just him onstage all alone, with one mic and three guitars to choose from. He managed to pull off, solo, what he usually would do with a band and lots of interesting backing instruments - we were all very impressed.

So that's one talented Norwegian.

One of my friends, who went to see the Sondre gig with me, e-mailed me a couple of months later about this guy he'd heard on the radio who reminded him of Sondre, and advised me to check out his stuff. Enter Robert Post - another Norwegian singer-songwriter extraordinaire, with a definitely surreal streak.

Faster! Faster! Faster!

Picture taken from the Robert Post website

You can tell that surrealism abounds when someone has a 'Flipped Out Whale' game on his website, not to mention pictures of himself in pyjamas and animal masks, posing with giant yetis, very small cars, and eclectic plastic toys:

http://www.robert-post.com





Sadly, the 'Flipped Out' game is not on his website for the time being, but you can still play it here:

Picture taken from the Robert Post website

http://www.hyperlaunch.com/robertpost

Anyway, Robert also has a brilliant video for his hit single, 'Got None', which is all a video should be - fun and colourful, with reference to the song lyrics, but in a creative way. Spice it up with a dash of surrealism! Robert's latest single, 'There's One Thing', also has a video, which doesn't seem quite as exciting as the other one until the end... I've included the links to both videos under the 'Links' section on the right.

I think I've left you with quite a few videos to watch so I'll just vamoose. Incidentally, I originally intended them to be a sort of Christmas treat, but what with one thing and another, they'll just have to be a New Year treat instead... Sit back, relax, and enjoy!

Ring out the old, ring in the new

Current mood: Christmas is over (all twelve days of it)... Awww.
Current music: Cerebral radio - 'The Perfect Year', from Andrew Lloyd Webber's 1993 musical, 'Sunset Boulevard'

Happy New Year! How are you all? Did you celebrate the arrival of 2006? I spent the strike-of-midnight moment getting showered in confetti, which is very jolly. I was watching a little post-prandial circus show at the time. My local shopping centre managed to invite a circus troupe over for a couple of performances during the Christmas hols - Neil Goldberg's Cirque, in fact. They did a show starting at a quarter to midnight on New Year's Eve, and having had a nice family dinner in some restaurant, I just thought I'd stick around and watch it. The seats were getting full up, except for the front row, so I plonked myself onto an empty seat. Unfortunately the front row means that one runs the risk of catching someone's attention... And sure enough, a couple of chaps in blue wigs wandered down from the stage and pointedly invited me up. Mucho embarrassing. Oh well, at least all I had to do was wave my hands in the air. The Clowns in Blue snatched another girl from the standing spectators; one nabbed her shopping bags as the other dragged her on-stage. The poor girl was almost wilting in the spotlight - she tried to run away but the be-wigged ones stopped her. She did the whole hands-in-the-air thing with a 'may-I-sink-into-the-earth' look on her face, and just as her arms were up in the air the wicked little imps flipped her over backwards in a somersault, and carried her backstage when she bolted! Luckily for me I was wearing a skirt at the time, otherwise it might've been me. Whew, that was a close one. *Breathes sigh of relief*


Oh, and it was the entire cast of circus performers who were responsible for the confetti. Their show was pretty good, actually - people juggling rings, swinging polyhedral frames through the air until they blur, and balancing chandeliers on their noses. The usual stuff, but done stylishly. And there were a couple of bronzed strongmen who did some fiendishly painful-looking balancing feats. The female commentator seemed rather fond of them - but then we're talking about two muscular, nearly nude dudes wearing these teensy little gold-coloured shorts and doing the splits. Hmm, I wouldn't be surprised if their fan club consists entirely of ladies...


Anyway, I have to backtrack a bit. I apologise for the dearth of blog entries of late. I was in the middle of writing one, sometime in mid-December, when I had a little accident the following day - a bit of a disagreement between some glass and my fingers. Unfortunately it was a lose-lose situation; the glass broke in my hand and my fingers got cut rather deeply. The doctor had to put a couple of stitches on one of them. Now for those of you lucky enough never to have needed stitches, what happens is this: After the wound gets cleaned, you get injected with local anaesthetic to numb the injured area before the stitches can be made. Funnily enough (or not, as I felt at the time), the injections hurt me a darn sight more than the actual injury. I suppose fingers are the most sensitive parts of the human body but AAAAAAGGHHH it wasn't nice. And I'm not sure they did it properly because the stitching still hurt. And the stitches looked ugly. At any rate, two of my poor little fingers were wrapped up in huge bundles of gauze and white bandage for a week, which meant I was off work the week before Christmas. And then Christmas came along in a rush, and not being able to access the office means no Internet connection, which of course equals no blogging.

But hey, now I'm back (and so are my fingers). So you'd better watch out...